Josselyn (thecasualcode) добавляет: «Yes! It is deeply unfair for single people to have to rely on this sort of “leisure activity definition of friendship” that we currently have. The way capitalism and our amount of normative culture is structured, friendships are seen as secondary or tertiary to your primary romantic partner… and your job… and all the other things you have to fulfil to be a good citizen. Friendship is at the bottom of the list. Friendship is seen as something that you’re only supposed to engage in your off time, your free time, your leisure time. Of course, there is a pressure on friendships to be fun and exciting and leisurely… You’re not supposed to rely on your friends for any substantive care or air because that’s up to the primary romantic partner to fulfil all of your care, financial and emotional needs. It feels like too much to ask our friends to engage in any substantive activities with us, any activities of daily living, any chores and errands, mundane, humdrum and boring things. Even though these are the things that we actually need help with! Even though you can still bond with someone while you’re engaging in these activities! It’s especially important that we don’t engage in out friends to the detriment of our primary romantic partnership… we can only hang out with our friends once we’ve already fulfilled all the duties and obligations of the prime romantic partnership… because that’s the serious business of life, right? Friendships are not supposed to be serious, they’re just fun! But this way of looking at friendships as just fun and leisure cheats so many people out of the substantive possibility to use friendships to achieve community, care, aid… important things that are life-sustaining. You don’t have to rely on a primary romantic partner for that. It’s deeply unfair for single and solo people who do not have a primary romantic partner to rely on, who choose not to have one! Let’s rethink our definition of friendship as not leisurely and fun.»