As these strangers shared the mortifying stories that had haunted them during sleepless nights at three a.m., they suddenly felt celebrated rather than ashamed as their unique, ridiculous tales brought people around the world laughter. The terrible details only made the stories more human and perfect. Got into the passenger seat of the wrong car outside Starbucks. The driver waited until I finished my phone call to tell me. As a doctor I have on far too many occasions knocked on the door as I am LEAVING the room. Pulled in to a gas station & was on wrong side of the pump for my gas cap. Drove around to the other side and did it again. Drove away. Working at a hardware store, picked up the intercom phone, forgot what I was doing and loudly said, “Hello?” to the entire store. I called my 9th grade crush and sang Happy birthday over the phone. When I finished his dad says, “Heath isn’t here.” Had my laptop hooked up to a projector for a work meeting w/ execs, received an email from a friend: “WHAT THE FUCK IS RHUBARB” Ate a cookie on display in Anthropologie. Halfway through, realized it was a decorative soap. I finished eating it anyway. Responding to text message from my boss, I tried to write “Thanks so much” but after not typing perfectly it autocorrected to “Thanks douche.” Gave waiter what I thought was a Groupon and got huffy when he said, “We don’t take these.” Was a recipe for turkey casserole.