Not every feminist icon has to be disabled, but I wonder what we might lose when we look up to only the strongest, fiercest, youngest, and fittest—the ones who don’t seem to age in any meaningful way beyond collecting a few graceful wrinkles and rocking white hair. What nuances and insights are we missing by our selectivity? Remember how the world flipped out when Selma Blair touted her cane on the red carpet at the Vanity Fair Oscar party? That image of her holding her cane in her billowy silky dress seemed to explode our brains. It showcased the tangled relationship between weakness and strength. It represented so much grace and poise and beauty, precisely in the moment she publicly embodied her diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.

What happens to womanhood when we always idealize the most able, the most “successful,” the most independent?

As feminism creates more space—as it evolves, expands, and grows in richness—I think it’s becoming less a conversation about men and women and more a force to disrupt the crustiest, most established power structures. This stronger feminism asks who has power and who doesn’t, where does that power come from, how do we disrupt the great disparity between the powerful and powerless, and what are alternate ways to access power while caring for each other? I think we sometimes make claims about the experiences of “all women,” because we live in a world that is so often dismissive of those on the margins of established power.

These stories should be heard and amplified. But I also think there are many more stories to add to the collection we have started. Nuance is harder to rally around or shout from a megaphone, but it’s also sturdier and more sustainable.

When we shout “Ask any woman!” I think we should. Ask. Listen. Adapt. Expand.

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